The Trouble with L
by crematosis
Summary: AU LightxL In a future world comprised only of semes and ukes, Light and L seem to have a happy life. But something has destroyed L's happiness. Will Light find out what has happened before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Light and L were considered by most to be a very happy couple

A/N: I never would have come up with this if I hadn't read a certain fic. My buddy Sarah showed me this fic where L made Mello and Near hate each other. So, I decided that L was going to get tortured too. It's karma, bitch! XD Thanks, Sarah. Bet you can't guess what I did to poor little L. And to all the female readers, please don't get mad. It's Paul's fault that there are no girls in this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light…I just like to torture them for fun.

Light and L were considered by most to be a very happy couple. They were a first generation seme and uke couple, a proud testament to years of hard work by scientists trying to save the human race. Light's mother had been one of the last surviving females on earth. A terrible disease that affected only women had killed off all the females. The horrible epidemic had been raging for almost a century. Luckily, that gave scientists enough time to fundamentally alter male DNA. Beginning with L and Light's generation, all men were born as either ukes or semes. Ukes were the only males able to produce children and carry on the human race.

Light and L seemed like an odd couple on the surface. Light was very handsome by society's standards and very charismatic. L, on the other hand, was as pale as a ghost and preferred to stay out of the public eye. But they understood each other well. They had met in the library, searching for the same advanced reading material. And although they were not overly affectionate, no one doubted that they truly loved each other.

Light Yagami, son of police chief Soichiro Yagami, had followed in his father's footsteps. He was now head of the International Bureau of Crime. That involved a high level of diplomatic skill and occasional trips out of the country. L, on the other hand, worked as a detective. Once he went to his office in the morning, he sat behind his computer and he never left until the end of the day. He had very little human interactions, preferring e-mails.

When L came home from work one day extremely late, Light wasn't worried at first. L's hours at his post weren't always the same from week to week. Sometimes L neglected to tell him about day when he stayed late and sometimes if L stopped at the candy store on the way home, he could completely lose track of time.

But as L dragged himself through the door, Light immediately knew something was wrong. "Ryuuzaki?" Light asked worriedly. L had come home empty-handed. No candy, no laptop, no case files to work on with Light.

L stared at the floor. "Raito-kun," he said softly.

"Ryuuzaki, what's wrong?" Light asked, steering L to the couch.

L lifted his gaze and stared vacantly at Light. "Nothing is wrong, Raito-kun." He sounded dead tired.

Light let go of him and backed away slowly. "Ryuuzaki, what the hell happened to you?" Light asked in a quiet voice.

L sagged into the chair. "I will be fine. All I require is the chance to sit down for a few moments. Please do not worry, Raito-kun."

But Light couldn't help but be worried, especially after L fell fast asleep still sitting up.

The next morning, L was gone before Light woke up. The pattern continued on for several days. L would be gone in the morning before Light woke up and he would not come home until late at night when Light was already asleep. He left a note saying that he had been to the Uke Club to discuss things Light wouldn't understand.

Light was starting to get really worried about L. L was a uke, but he had never really identified with uke society. But now L was visiting the Uke Club almost every day and spending less and less time at home with Light. They were married, for goodness sake! Very few married ukes went to the Uke Club unless it was to ask advice about things only a uke could experience.

Light stopped pacing, a look of comprehension dawning on him. Maybe L was pregnant. It would explain quite a bit. Maybe he didn't know how Light would take the news, so he didn't want to be around Light until he asked how to break the news.

Light started pacing again. Perhaps L was pregnant and perhaps not. He couldn't jump to conclusions.

The door slowly swung open and L silently stepped inside. He was home pretty early.

'Ryuuzaki," Light exclaimed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Nothing," L whispered furtively. He had certainly lost quite a bit of weight in the last few weeks, his already thin frame looking downright skeletal. There was also a haunted look about L's eyes.

"Something is definitely wrong with you. You're wasting away. You haven't begged me to bake anything for a month. What have you been eating?"

"I have not had much of an appetite," L murmured.

"Are you sick or something?"

"No, I am fine, Raito-kun."

"Something has to be wrong with you. I'm your husband so I want to know."

L avoided Light's gaze. "Please do not ask me to tell you. I can't tell you anything. Believe me, I wish I could."

Light relaxed slightly. "A classified case? Really, Ryuuzaki, you can't be a workaholic like this. I miss you when you stay out all day and night." He put an arm around L's shoulder.

L flinched away from him. "I'm sorry, Raito-kun. You have done nothing wrong. I am just not in the mood. I would rather rest." L departed for the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

Light frowned. L was sleeping normally lately, which in itself would have been an encouraging sign. But combined with L's lack of interest in sweets, it was a huge warning sign that something was terribly wrong. But L wouldn't tell him. He would have to give L time and let him come around.


	2. Chapter 2

Light hated waiting

A/N: I'd like you all to know that…I'm not just lazy. I have issues to. My main issue being the fact that my computer has parental control on it that blocks fanfiction. I have to have a friend post stuff for me. If anyone really wants to ask a question in their reviews or in PMs, you gotta e-mail me so I can actually reply, cause I can't ask my buddy to reply to everything.

Distractions: I don't own L…it's a good thing for L.

Light hated waiting. He was a powerful, important person. People did not keep him waiting because when Light was mad, negotiations tended to sour very quickly. Things got done quickly and smoothly. Light was called in and Light politely handled the situation. If Light wasn't called in when the situation first arose, Light was annoyed. If they waited until things got ugly before calling him in, there was really nothing he could do. Light liked to be informed of any development immediately. The fact that L refused to talk to him was taking a toll on Light's patience. Light was also very concerned for L. It seemed like a grave situation that needed to be dealt with right away and unless L told him what was wrong, there was no way to fix it.

L avoided Light as often as he could. If Light ran into L on the way home, L hurried away like he had never seen Light in his life. It was all very concerning.

One day, walking home muttering about how stubborn L was, Light ran into one of L's uke coworkers, literally. Matsuda was very kind and understanding, but basically an idiot. Matsuda had tripped somehow and crashed into him, knocking everything from Light's arms.

Matsuda hurriedly began picking up everything, apologizing profusely.

"It's alright, Matsuda,' Light growled. 'It's fine."

Matsuda blinked. "Oh, you know me? Who are you again?"

"I'm Ryuuzaki's husband."

"Ohhh," Matsuda said, nodding. "I feel really bad for you. I mean, you must be going through such a hard time and then I come and mess up your day like this. I really am very sorry."

"What are you talking about?" Light growled.

Matsuda ducked his head. "I mean, with Ryuuzaki. It must be so hard on you both. I feel for you, really."

"You know what's wrong with Ryuuzaki?" Light demanded.

Matsuda scurried to his feet, looking frightened. "He hasn't told you?"

"No, but you certainly will," Light growled.

Matsuda backed away. "If he hasn't told you, I don't think I should."

'What's going on with my husband?" Light snarled, a fist raised.

Matsuda squeezed his eyes shut as though preparing for a blow. "He was raped, okay? That's all Ryuuzaki told me. He cried for an hour when he told us down at the club."

Light lowered his arm. "He told you but he wouldn't tell me?"

"I don't know why!" Matsuda squeaked. "I'm sorry!" he hurried off, nearly stumbling again.

Light gritted his teeth. Well, now he knew what was wrong with L, but it didn't make him any happier. He was mad that L wouldn't tell him but he would tell his fellow ukes. But what made Light really furious was that someone would dare do such a thing to his L. When he found out who had raped L, they were going to pay.

When L came home that night at midnight, Light was still awake, waiting for L. L looked slightly off-guard when he saw that Light was till up.

"Good evening, Raito-kun," L murmured. "I'm just going off to bed now. Good night."

"When were you planning on telling me?" Light demanded.

L blinked. "Telling you what?"

'About how that fucking scumbag raped you," Light hissed.

Alarm registered briefly in L's eyes. 'Who told you?" he rasped.

"Matsuda. So you felt fine crying about it with him and you leave me in the dark."

L sighed. "I'm sorry, Raito-kun. I just didn't want it to come between us."

"So what was I supposed to think when you don't want to have sex with me anymore? Was I supposed to blame myself?"

"It's not like that," L whispered.

"Ryuuzaki, I barely know you anymore. Come here. We need to talk." Light grabbed L's hand to pull him towards the couch.

L screamed and yanked his hand back, breathing rapidly. "Don't touch me!"

Light stood stunned, hurt in his eyes. "Who did this to you, Ryuuzaki?" he whispered. "Who could hurt you this badly?"

L crawled onto the couch next to Light, sitting carefully apart from him. "It was not a sole person, but a group. They took turns holding me down and…" L's voice trailed off.

Rage burned in Light's eyes. "We have to get justice for you. We're reporting this. No one has a right to do this to you."

"Raito-kun, please don't do this," L pleaded. "They are friends of yours."

Light froze. "What?" he asked hoarsely.

A sad smiled stretched across L's face. "I'm afraid I cannot tell you the names of the perpetrators because it will affect your work habits. Good night, Raito-kun."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N; Omigod! I know…it's been so long since I updated this one. I really only started this story to punish the L in another story I read. And then I realized I was really torturing him and I felt bad…so I stopped. But recently a reader has begged me to finish it, so I will. I think there's only going to be one more chapter after this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light…like always.

Light was depressed. Dealing with an emotionally fragile L had affected his job performance. After too many nights staying up to console L as he cried himself to sleep, Light just couldn't function. He was told to take a leave of absence until he could take care of his personal issues.

His coworkers expressed sympathy even though they had no idea what was going on between him and L. Aizawa and Mogi seemed glad to see him leave but Mikami, one of Light's frequent research partners wished him a quick return with an optimistic smile. "Don't worry. You'll be back soon. You just need a little break. That's all. As soon as you clear things up with L, you'll be back in no time."

Light now had no job to go to every morning. He was forced to watch as L struggled out of bed. L was exhausted and his eyes were red from crying. Light was surprised that L wasn't told to take a leave of absence as well. But L still hauled himself off to work every day, leaving Light alone and miserable.

Light just wished there was some way to find a sense of closure. Maybe he needed to force L to go to therapy so they could move past this horrible incident. Light also wished L would prosecute his rapist. However, L had explained to him clearly why he couldn't do that. L had to keep his identity a secret. A trial was out of the question. It made Light wonder if the person knew L and knew that L wouldn't be able to take him to court.

Light waited every day for L to come home from work. L's schedule was still varied but Light was determined to wait up for him no matter what time L got home. As soon as L arrived home, he would hurry past Light with his eyes downcast and get something to eat for dinner. If Light tried to touch him, L would flinch away. It was very frustrating. Most nights, Light woke up in the middle of the night to find L having a nightmare. He would wake L up and console him and try to get L back to sleep. Light didn't know how much longer he would be able to live like this, to have L so close to him and yet so far away.

It had been three months already since the "incident". Finally, L was showing some positive signs. He was eating a little better and he had finally walked into the house without running away. Light wanted to jump him right there because he missed L so much, but he restrained himself and gradually pulled L into his arms.

"L, you're shaking," Light whispered.

L ducked his head. "It's hard to forget. I realize that you will not do anything to hurt me…but I can't forget. Whenever anyone wants to touch me, I can't. I have to make myself do it."

Light held onto L. "I can't stand how anyone could ever make you feel so helpless. You're such a strong person. To see you brought so low…it kills me."

"I will get past it, eventually," L murmured. "It will be easier now that I can have sex with you again."

"Whoa, are you sure you're ready for this? This is the first time we've embraced. You don't want sex yet, do you?"

"But if I'm ready for it, we can. I-I was afraid that if I got close to you, it would lead to sex. I wanted to be absolutely sure that I was not pregnant with his child before I had sex with you again. I wanted to be sure…"

Light cupped L's face in his hands. "You shouldn't have to worry about things like this. I'll never forgive him."

"But, Raito-kun, he is your friend."

"No friend of mine would ever rape you."

"Acquaintance then."

"I don't care who he was. I'll make him pay for what he did to you. Just point him out to me and I'll beat him to a pulp."

L leaned his head against Light's chest. "You are too kind, Raito-kun. I don't deserve you."

"What are you talking about?"

L sighed. "He was right. You should have married someone more suitable to you. I'm tying you down. You have almost no social life since you married me. I am a burden to you."

"He told you that?"

L nodded. "He loves you probably more passionately than I ever could."

"Bullshit," Light growled. "If he really loved me, he would realize that when he hurt you, he hurt me too. There's no chance I'll love him back. There was really no chance we'd break up and I'd go for him but now there's definitely no chance. He's the last person I'd ever consider. I'll kill him."

"But…we haven't had any children."

"That's not your fault. We're still young. There's time."

"But-"

"No, don't even think about it," Light growled. "Don't listen to a word he says. He's trying to break you emotionally as well as physically. I can't stand him! What a cowardly bitch."

"Please, don't be so angry on my behalf. I do not want you killing him. You do not need to become a criminal just because of what he has done to me." L clutched Light's shirt. "Please, don't do it. I don't want to see you sent to jail."

Light kissed L's cheek. "I can't. I don't even know who did it. I'm glad you're so concerned for me though, but you should be more concerned with yourself. Is he going to try to kill you so you don't bring him in?"

L shook his head and moved away from Light. "No, he knows I can't go to trial. He was only doing it to hurt me because I'm not worthy of you. He won't target anyone else. It's perfectly safe now."

"I don't think it's perfectly safe, exactly. But if you feel secure again, I won't press it. It's good to have you back, L."

L smiled shyly. "I've missed you too, Raito-kun. I wish I could have been intimate with you again sooner. I wasn't sure if you would still want me after I've been tainted by another man."

"Are you kidding? Of course I'd still want you. If it was up to me, I'd take you that same night and kiss you all over and fuck you until you couldn't remember his touch anymore, only mine."

L looked surprised, but then his expression softened. "Raito-kun is so fiercely loyal to me. I am lucky to have you."

"Damn right. And I'm lucky to have you. Don't even start thinking that you're no good. It's what he wants. We can't let him win."

L smiled. "Alright."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: There's only one chapter left after this one…apparently my subtle foreshadowing was more blatant than I thought. Oh well...I'm sure you'll all feel vindicated in the end. I took part of this scene from the Kite Runner. I had to read it for my Lit class. If you've read it, it'll give you a huuuuuuge hint.

Disclaimer: I own neither Light nor L.

Light knew he should be feeling guilty, but it was hard not to feel so content with his life at the moment. The terror was gradually fading from L's eyes. The first time they had sex after the incident, L was very hesitant, but Light took it slow. He was as careful with L as he had been when L lost his virginity to him. He was very gentle, kissing and caressing to take L's mind off the slight discomfort. And once they had gotten past that hurdle, the first sex after the rape, it was a lot easier. Gradually, sex became more routine again. Light didn't have to worry about L quite as much. As they kissed passionately, Light could almost forget how he had once held L in his arms for hours before he could bring himself to kiss him, afraid of shattering the progress they had made. But now, things were only getting better.

Light knew he should feel guilty. It was at L's expense that things had now become so good. L's affection and adoring expression were only the result of knowing how much better sex was with Light than with the rapist. Light knew that he should feel bad that things were so good, but he just couldn't. He couldn't get over the fact that L was now his again. L wasn't completely normal again. He was entirely too submissive, but Light would rather take too much affection over the isolation.

Light was finally given permission to return to work. It was a relief to be able to work and come home to find L had just gotten home instead of wandering the house all day waiting for L. It gave him something to do.

"Raito-kun," L said softly, rising from the couch as Light walked in the door. He set his book to the side and allowed Light to embrace him.

Light kissed L's cheek. "Well, that's a nice thing to come home to. And you made dinner too? Geez, I'm getting spoiled. Are you sure you're actually going to work? You're home awfully early."

L smiled slightly. "Yes. I've had shorter hours this week. Next week I have been assured of more to work on. It is doubtful that I will be home before midnight."

"Well, I'll take what I can get." Light scooped L into his arms and settled onto the couch with him.

L rested his head against Light's chest. "So, Raito-kun, how is work going with you?"

"It's going great. Almost everyone is happy to see me back at the job."

"You didn't tell them why…did you?" L had suddenly become tense.

"No, of course not. I would never make that public knowledge." Light hugged L tightly. "They just know it was some kind of personal problem. They're happy I'm back and they want to throw a party for me."

"How nice of them," L murmured.

"I was thinking maybe we should have the party here."

L's good mood seemed to evaporate. "A party? Here? Raito-kun, parties are a lot of trouble."

"I know, I know. Just relax. I'll take care of it. It's just a way to thank everyone at work for being understanding and letting me have time off. I promise I'll make all the food. You won't have to lift a finger."

L smiled. "I suppose I should be grateful. After all, Raito-kun will be baking all of his famous cookies and brownies, right?"

Light grinned. "You bet. And you even get to try them first and let me know if they're good."

L's smiled widened. "Just let me know how many people are coming and I'll make sure we have enough space for them."

"It's only people from work, L. We're a small crowd."

"Everyone from work?" L asked cautiously, rising slowly.

"Yeah, why not? There's only about twenty of us on the division. It's not that many people."

"You're inviting even people you don't know?"

"Oh, I know everyone well enough. Would you just relax? We all get along fine."

"If you say so." L had a distracted look on his face as he slowly wandered into the kitchen.

"So, is next weekend good? I want to make sure you have enough time to move all your papers somewhere."

'It's fine," L murmured.

Light tried to comprehend the sudden change in L's behavior, but all he could come up with was that L was not a people person. Well, he would let L sneak away to the safety of his room after he said hello to everyone. Light wasn't going to force L to socialize the whole time.

L did his part of preparing the house for guests in the middle of the night. One morning, Light woke up and the whole house was clean. Light didn't even have a chance to praise his hard work because L was already gone to work by the time he woke up.

L made himself scarce as Light prepared the food for the party. L only showed up once the cookies were ready to try one of them. Even then, he didn't say a word. He simply grabbed a cookie and ran off.

Light wasn't sure what to think. L didn't seem depressed anymore. He just looked a little harried. Light was afraid that the thought of so many people in the house was bothering him.

The weekend of the party rolled around quickly. The party was scheduled to begin at noon, but no one showed up until one. Mikami was the first to arrive, bearing a stack of board games. "Just in case," Mikami said cheerfully. He set them on a table near the entryway.

L was sitting in the kitchen, munching a shortbread cookie.

"L, come say hello to our first guest," Light called.

L cautiously walked towards Mikami and stared at him uncertainly.

Mikami held out his hand. "Hi, you must be Light's wife. I've heard so much about you from Light."

L stared at Mikami's outstretched hand and said nothing.

"L," Light growled. "Would you please be polite?"

"Oh, it's alright. He's just a little shy, isn't he?" Mikami's smile widened. "It's nice to meet you, L. You must be lucky, married to a guy who bakes all these delicious treats for you."

Light laughed. "I don't bake these all the time.. I know L would love it if I did though." He glared meaningfully at L.

L slowly reached out to shake Mikami's hand.

Mikami gripped L's hand tightly. "So nice to meet you."

L drew his hand back hastily and backed away.

"I don't know what's gotten into him," Light growled. "Here, let me show you the house."

The doorbell rang.

"L, would you get that for me?" Light called over his shoulder. " I think it's Aizawa. I'm pretty sure that's his car out front."

"Do I have to?" L whispered.

Light whirled around. "Jesus, you're awfully pale. Are you sick?"

L nodded slowly.

Light sighed. "Well, get to bed then. All the excitement must be wearing you out. I'll bring you some ice cream in a bit after everyone gets settled."

L nodded again and trudged off towards the bedroom.

Light headed for the front door. "Hey there, Aizawa. Oh, hello, Mogi. Did Aizawa give you a ride here?"

Mogi grunted a brief affirmative and wandered into the kitchen.

Light shrugged helplessly. "Well, have a bite to eat if you want. Mikami brought board games for later if we want. Or we could just hang out and talk."

Aizawa looked at a picture of L and Light on the mantel. "Is this your wife?"

"Yeah, that's my L."

"Did he help you make all this stuff?"

"No, he's sick," Mikami said sadly.

"Hmph," Aizawa grunted. 'Oh well. We'll have fun without him. Kata's bringing us over a bottle of sake."

Light groaned and rolled his eyes. "Always the life of the party, eh?"

"It's too bad L won't be joining us," Misaki said in a sad voice.

Light shrugged. "He never did like parties anyway. Don't worry about him. He'll be fine."

Light began leading the group on a tour of the house, quickly forgetting L's absence.


End file.
